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100 Things about Karen
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When I was younger, I’d write out my vital statistics (name, address, phone
number, age, gender, family status, etc.) whenever I was bored and not
doodling or writing in a journal. I am obsessed with me.
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If/when I ever get married, I plan to wear a red dress.
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I sometimes drop pennies on the ground just so someone else can find them
and have good luck.
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The first tv show I have a clear memory of watching was Battlestar Gallatica,
specifically the episode where they finally reach Earth. I was 5 or so,
sitting in the living room on a sheet and eating peach cobbler.
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Once I get to know a neighborhood well and feel that it’s safe and quiet,
I will “book walk” to work or to the store or just around. This is walking
and reading a book at the same time. Not a good idea, but so far, no lives
have been lost.
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If at all possible, my next car will be a convertible.
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I used to think that if I found a genie, I’d ask to be omniscient. I wanted
to know everything, be everyone, go everywhere all at once. Maybe I’d need
to be omnipotent too?
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Now I’d just ask for a ton of cash and then set the genie free.
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I believe people should just do what they want as long as they don’t hurt
anyone else. A very wiccan “do what ye will and it harm ye none” kind of
thing.
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I also believe people need to really think about what harm is – of course
physical/verbal/mental abuse counts, but if someone else just existing
is “harming” you, then you’ve got a serious problem and need to address
it immediately. Take care of your own being and leave others alone unless
they ask for help.
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I am not advocating complete narcissism or standing by while someone drowns
of course. Just live and let live.
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I’m not as worldly as some, and I certainly don’t claim to have all the
answers, but moving around a lot and living in different places really
brought home to me that people are all the same underneath, regardless
of race, accent, lifestyle choice, religion, etc.
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I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister. Both my brothers
have such strong personalities though that even if I picture them female,
they seem totally the same. Oh well.
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My upbringing has left me with the belief that I am infinitely adaptable.
I could live almost anywhere, blend in with almost any group of people,
and learn whatever I needed to survive.
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This is obviously an exaggeration but I do feel like a chameleon a lot.
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It’s only in the past few years that I’ve realized I don’t have to adapt
anymore if I don’t want to. I can draw a line in the sand and say I will
not change anymore just to blend in.
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My adaptability and the need to take care of people led me to the unfortunate
identity of doormat. It was impossible for me to say no to people. This
is no longer true. It’s not my problem if you think I’m a bitch. I’m going
to take care of me now.
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The odd thing is I should have realized a lot of this stuff earlier. My
mom taught me to take care of others (specifically my brothers – I started
making their lunches when I was 5 and babysitting when I was 11), but she
always said I had to know how to take care of myself first. Should have
listened more closely.
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My best friend and I have the same brain. No one else can tell really because
we are nothing alike (male/female, outgoing/shy, dark hair/light hair,
yadda, yadda, yadda). We have the same thought at the same time so often
that we just look at each other and give a high five when it happens. It’s
freaky yet cool.
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Pokie!
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Sometimes I believe in reincarnation simply because life is such a wonderful/scary/educational
ride that I can’t believe we don’t get a chance to get back in line and
do it all over again as soon as it’s done.
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My first kiss happened when I was 16 on my first date. We went to see The
Abyss, sat in the back row, and missed a lot of the movie. When he kissed
me I was so scared/excited, I thought I was going to die. He told me several
years later it was obvious because I was trembling so hard he found it
difficult to press his lips against mine. I got the hang of it by the end
of the movie though.
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I love movies. I’ll go see anything that isn’t too scary or depressing.
My tolerance for bad movies is very high.
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I wish I owned kicky red go-go boots.
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I am generally cheerful, optimistic, and bouncy.
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Sometimes I think that’s all people see of me, which is one of the reasons
I recently dyed my naturally blonde hair to a darker reddish brown.
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Can’t hide what I am though. I’ve dyed my hair very dark brown in the past
and it lightened to blonde all by itself within a few months.
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My pinky fingers are crooked – they curve gently inward towards the rest
of my fingers. It’s genetic – my mom and grandma have it, too.
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I can hold my pinky inside of my closed fist. (Double-jointed trick #1)
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I can hold either thumb against the inside of the wrist to which it is
attached. (Double-jointed trick #2)
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My eyes are hazel and they change color with my mood and clothing. Everyone
in my family has the same hazel eyes.
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Places I’ve lived: Miami, Florida; New York, New York; Brownsville, Texas;
Novato, California; Long Beach, Mississippi; Springfield, Virginia; Arcata,
California; Berkeley, California; Baltimore, Maryland; West Palm Beach,
Florida; San Francisco, California; and Alameda, California. I left out
any repeats, moving with the same town/area, and places I’ve lived less
than 6 months at a time.
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New York and San Francisco are technicalities because both times I lived
in government housing on an island in the bay.
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I hated Mississippi the most.
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The longest I ever lived in a single spot (same house) was 3 ½ years
in Novato. I loved it.
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Now that I’m in charge of my own movements, I’ve decided to stay put in
the best place on Earth – the Bay Area.
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I may break my single dwelling record with the apartment that I’m currently
living in. We will have been here 3 years on April 1st.
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The reason I may not break my record is we are planning to buy a house
within the next year.
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In which case, I think I’ll definitely break my record there. Not that
owning a home ever stopped my parents from moving – but that’s different,
Dad was in the military.
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I believe the Coast Guard is the most overworked and underappreciated branch
of the military. They do search and rescue, stop drug runners, protect
our fisheries, maintain aids to navigation, protect our ports, and inspect
all types of vessels trying to make our oceans safe.
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I never want to look back and say, “Those were the good old days,” or “That
was the best time of my life.” I live Here and Now and that should always
be the best time of my life.
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I learned true independence, self-acceptance, and love of life from Crystal.
For these and many other reasons, we are prefect partners and I’m very
grateful.
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One the quotes I try to live by is: “I have always thought – tests are
a gift. And great tests are a great gift. To fail the test is a misfortune.
But to refuse the test is to refuse the gift, and something worse, more
irrevocable, than misfortune.” – Lois McMaster Bujold
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Another is: “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it
is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which
he hears, however measured or far away.” – Henry David Thoreau
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If I can’t manage to follow either of those, I can always go with Baudelaire:
“Be always drunken. On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish. But
be drunken!”
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This is the second time I’ve worked my way through this list. It’s difficult,
but useful and interesting, at least to me.
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I’ve never broken a major bone (just a finger and possibly a toe), which
is amazing considering how often I fall down, trip, or run into things.
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Sometimes I really enjoy repetitive yet detailed tasks like making copies,
collating, checking figures, doing research, running errands, scheduling
meetings, etc.
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Makes me think I would have liked being someone’s executive assistant at
a big company with lots of money – the kind where we’re always jetting
off to London for meetings, taking notes in the back of a limo, or getting
opera tickets for an important client. It would be a strange mix of glamour
and getting to exercise my talent for organization.
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I am so weird.
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I don’t like pictures with my stories, which is why I don’t read comics
even though I’ve heard (for years and from tons of people) how cool this
or that one is. I need to create the world in my head as I’m reading.
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I also think this is why I didn’t read much after first grade – all the
books had pictures and I’d didn’t want that anymore, but no one pushed
me to regular books till fourth grade when I made friends with a bunch
of geeks… and the rest is history.
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When I was a teenager, I desperately wanted to be the muse of a great artist.
I dated a few artistic guys and found that they quit producing when I was
around. I was crushed. I thought I was not a muse, I was the opposite –
an anti-muse.
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Being the anti-muse bothered me a lot until I took an art class my senior
year in college. I focused on my own creativity – before this class I thought
I was one of the most uncreative people ever. I learned that I can create
even if I don’t make high art or even something pretty.
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I brought these thoughts to life in one of my art projects. I sculpted
the anti-muse (sort of the opposite of the pagan fertility figures – a
woman with a hole in her abdomen and no arms or legs, colorless, confined
in bandages), wrote a little poem explaining her, and displayed her for
the class with a hammer hanging over her head.
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I was going to smash her in class but decided I wasn’t quite ready for
performance art.
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The anti-muse, the poem, and the hammer are on display in my room. Someday
I will have a party and smash her to bits.
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The same art class is where I learned to love painting even if I developed
no skill for it.
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I paint for myself, to relax and be expressive, but I don’t expect anyone
else to see anything meaningful or aesthetically pleasing in my paintings.
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I feel pretty much the same way about my writing, which is why I rarely
post any fiction or poetry.
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The feeling doesn’t apply to non-fiction though – like this list, the essays
I write for the site, or the tech stuff I write for a living. That wouldn’t
work very well if it did.
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I hated organized sports as a kid because I was so uncoordinated. Now I
just find them boring.
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I do like to be active though – walking, dancing, aerobics, and hiking.
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I don’t want to compete. I don’t want to be judged. I just want to move.
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When I was younger, I’d fall back on looking confused, helpless, young,
and blonde to get me out of things. On one hand, it’s appalling how often
it worked. On the other hand, I got what I wanted so *shrug* whatever.
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Similarly, everyone complains about rude people in France. Crystal and
I had a wonderful time – everyone was polite and helpful. Could it be because
we were two 20-something, fairly attractive females? Nah…
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I love the sound of bells. The best thing about living on or near the Berkeley
campus was hearing the bells of the Campanile ring throughout the day.
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I think the world would be a better place if people remembered simple politeness.
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My favorite quote about politeness is: “Life is not so short but that there
is always time enough for courtesy.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I know that common courtesy is not always easy or even easy to remember.
I often have to stop and remind myself and if I’ve failed to be polite
to you, it was through absentmindedness, not meanness, so please forgive
me.
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For relaxing, there’s nothing better than a rainy day, a big picture window,
a soft comfy chair, a fire in the fireplace, a good book, and a cup of
tea… unless it’s a rainy night, a big picture window, a soft comfy chair,
a fire in the fireplace, a good book, and a glass of port.
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Snails sautéed in butter with lots of garlic are a numy treat –
then again so are most things sautéed in butter with lots of garlic.
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My top two favorite candies are lollipops and Dots.
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I prefer the large ball lollipops that are usually labeled “old fashioned”
or “gourmet” and come in flavors like pi?a colada and black cherry.
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It always upsets me when my mind goes blank and I can’t think of anything
to write or say or do. It’s as if my whole life has been a lie and I was
never smart or fairly well educated. I can’t stand the thought that I might
actually be a dumb blonde.
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I love my 5 senses. They make me feel a part of the world – that I’m truly
in this life, an active participant, and not just a watcher.
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Touch particularly fascinates me. I’m always surreptitiously exploring
the surfaces around me with my finger tips. Why does this surface feel
this way? The suede cover of my journal, the smooth wood of my desk, the
soft curve of someone’s neck, the plastic firmness of the steering wheel
under my hands as I drive – they all send me into a reverie. Touch is just
the coolest thing ever.
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This is possibly the reason I fidget. I never sit perfectly still. I’m
always playing with my hair or my jewelry or a bookmark or something. My
fingers hate to be still.
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When I was a kid, my fingers’ favorite place to be was in my mouth. I sucked
my thumb till I was five then I started biting my fingernails.
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I only managed to (mostly) break myself of the habit of biting my nails
by giving myself manicures frequently. Nail polish doesn’t taste good and
it looks awful when you start peeling it away.
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Although I like animals, I don’t want any pets. They need too much time
and attention, and I like being able to leave my house on a moment’s notice
for a weekend in the Gold Country or a trip to Paris.
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Okay, so I don’t just jet off to Paris, but I have skipped town for the
weekend on about a half hour’s notice.
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This is also the reason we don’t have houseplants (plus we killed all the
ones we had even when we did stick around).
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Things I want to do before I die: travel pretty much everywhere (including
at least one trip around the world), learn to scuba dive, get my eyes lasered
so I don’t have to wear glasses anymore, go ballroom dancing in Europe
(I don’t care if it’s a tango in Paris, a waltz in Vienna, or a polka in
Germany – I just want to dance somewhere over there, but the more the merrier),
and learn to fly a plane.
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I’d agree with Byron’s whole “live hard, die young, and leave a good looking
corpse” motto except I’ve got way too much stuff I want to do. No way I
can get it all done while I’m still young.
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Also I didn’t really start living hard (sucking the marrow out of life,
seizing the day, living the Life Am Good, etc.) till a few years ago, so
that kind of rules out the young part as well.
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Besides, I’m enjoying getting older – not only do I still play, but now
I can also afford cool toys and going to the best places.
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I think the house is going to be our coolest toy yet.
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My favorite insult, which I picked up in 4th or 5th grade and I still use
regularly today, is goober.
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I love musicals, except for Rogers and Hammerstein – they annoy me for
some reason.
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I used to think it was just funny, but now it’s actually true: “I’m not
lost, I’m exploring.”
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Not that I mind being lost. I find lots of cool things when I get lost,
like new bookstores, shortcuts to the freeway, and pretty Victorian houses.
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I hate sitting in a chair like a normal person, back straight and two feet
on the ground. I usually sit with my feet tucked under me, with my feet
propped up on the coffee table/footstool/filing cabinet, or sideways in
the chair with my legs over one arm.
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My favorite tea is chamomile – soothing and relaxing, it’s perfect for
de-stressing at work or reading a book.
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I like tight pants and loose tops – it just feels more comfortable to me
that way.
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As a child I had several stuffed animals that were monkeys and they were
all named George.
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My favorite color to wear may be red, but my favorite color to paint with
is blue.
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I wish I could make everyone happy, but then life might be really boring.
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Boring to me is worse than sad.
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I am trying to be the most me I can be, but I have no idea how to measure
my success or failure.
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