How to Appreciate
Truly Terrible Movies
Now I usually try to keep my
movie opinions to myself because I'm far less critical that most people.
I'll watch just about anything and enjoy it, but even I have to admit that
some movies are truly terrible. Never fear, though, I've found a way to
enjoy some of those, too.
 I
saw a free sneak preview of A Knight's Tale a week before it opened. Why
would I do that, you ask? Well, it was free and even though I was expecting
pure dreck, it was a chance to spend time with a friend that I don't see
often enough (Hi Kevin). The movie was indeed awful, the theatre was crowded,
and the air conditioning was off or non-functional. But I'm still
glad I went. Why?
Because the movie did indeed
suck on many levels - the plot, the dialogue, the costumes, the egregious
historical inaccuracies. And I got to dissect them all with Kevin after
the movie and with Crystal as soon as I got home.
True, the movie is two hours
of my life that I'll never get back, but I'm having endless fun trashing
it with my friends. For example, I'm no expert, but after being in the
SCA for a few years and doing other historical costuming and events for
a few more, I know when things look out of place. Like a medieval banquet
hall with no rushes on the floor, excellent lighting, and a perfect, clear
glass at every place setting (don't even get me started on the "dancing").
Or Geoffery Chaucer wandering around France as a penniless scribe
with a gambling habit.
My friends and I will spend
hours arguing over which parts of the movie were the worst. It's educational
too. I have already gone to Britannica.com to satisfy my curiosity over
whether Edward the Black Prince and Chaucer were alive at the same time.
(Yes, they were. In fact, they probably met because Chaucer was a member
of the household of Elizabeth, countess of Ulster, who was married
to Lionel, Edward's younger
brother. Chaucer was also part of Edward III's army in France in 1359.
Isn't the internet wonderful?)
Now, not all terrible movies
can provide this form of entertainment. I hated Dumb and Dumber (also saw
it at a free sneak preview), but all I have to say about it is Ewwww! You
need a movie that is bad in several ways and preferably tramples on an
area you feel strongly about or have knowledge of. For example, as sci-fi
fans, Crystal and her friend Melinda spent many happy hours picking apart
Star Wars Episode 1.
My dad, as a Coast Guard
captain, likes movies about the sea which he can then point out all the
flaws in. Familiar locations also are fun. When I was going to school at
Berkeley, they filmed parts of Made in America there. When I
finally watched the movie
to see if I was in any background shots (sadly no), I was amazed to see
the two main characters walking on the Berkeley campus, turn a corner,
and continue walking on the UCLA campus! Filmmakers call that creative
geography, but I call it fun to point it out to my friends who aren't as
familiar with campus.
You too can join in. It's
even more fun when you rent the movies, because you can heckle and MST3K
to your heart's content. Go see a bad movie with friends then rip it to
shreds. And remember - Be merciless!
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