911 Thoughts
The sky was blue today, as it
was a year ago this day. That fall warmth with just a touch of electric
crispness underneath. The earth turning. Days growing short. Halloween’s
just around the corner. The city (s.f.) looked peaceful in a distant from
the other side of the bay sort of way, as it did then.
A year ago I went to an on-line
list to check that day's fictional analysis and read what had to be a hoax.
Turned on the t.v. and saw that it wasn't.
The world turned topsy turvy
and even one year away it's still too soon to see what the ripples will
be. Some are obvious. Some lie quiet beneath the surface. Waiting. Flashing
at the sound of areoplane or the sight of a faded flag hanging from an
underpass.
Last year and a day, I went
to work excited over my upcoming vacation. Sad I wasn't going to be home
for the Buffy premiere, but you know vacation. I’m fairly certain I burbled.
And then the world shifted. Last year to the day I went to work because
terrorists weren't going to stop my world. I was sent home because it seems
they were. Sitting on the ferry, people crying, listening to the news from
a continent away.
Knowing myself to be an American
in a way that I never understood before. Previously it had always puzzled
me when people referred to America in the monolithic sense, rather than
50 states, rural and city, regional grievances, varying concentrations
of varying immigration waves. But yeah, America.
Today I wore my red, white
and blue skirt to work. Read everyone’s words here as I did last year.
Re-reading last year’s words. At some point today my office had a moment
of silence. Odd to have to figure out the logistics of a moment of silence,
but when you have call centers in 3 times zones everything’s logistics.
Last year that necessary
silence was unimagined; the skirt still shapeless fabric, left over on
some store shelf from the 4th of July. Now it's hand stitched patriotism
because I can't give blood and at the time I couldn't think what else to
do. Although, I suppose it would be indicative to admit that I started
it on the great American road trip in September and only finished it at
Neil Gaiman's Coraline reading in July.
As the day draws to a close,
I think, contemplate and move on into the future.
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